Last updated on November 22, 2022
I heard the notification on my phone ding while holding in my breath. I needed to get an A on the recent math test to maintain an A in the class. My thoughts went to my mom that same morning saying how I need to get an A on that test. I closed my eyes while nervously clicking on the notification. Thinking about the consequences for getting a B in a math class made me shiver, and I prayed that I wouldn’t be a victim of my mother’s wrath. Opening my eyes slowly, one by one, my vision was blurred and I focused on my cell phone. I read off the tiny brick of light, “Chapter 6 test: 89.5/100.” I rubbed my eyes to read it again and again. Seeing this grade made my heart and jaw drop because I didn’t expect to do this badly. Instantaneously, I started bawling. My hands were shaking with nervousness, and my palms were sweating profusely. Gasping for air, I shamefully walked to my teacher. I begged and pleaded with her to round my grade to an A. Thinking back, my concerning fear and humiliation was not due to my grades; instead, it was due to my parents’ demanding and irrational pressures.
Asian parents’ harshness toward their children about their grades can be traced back to the early 1950s. Often called one of the four “Asian Dragons,” South Korea was involved in the Korean War in 1953, and after South Korea gained its independence, it was named one of the poorest countries in the world. Extreme education was the driving factor of the “Miracle on the Han River,” which occurred following the Korean war. This Miracle was the rapid industrialization and economic development of South Korea. The government of South Korea spread the message that “educating children is an investment for the future,” and they created an ultra competitive school system in order to speed up the economy. For example, the Suneung, or the College Scholastic Ability Test, is a test given to High School seniors that is the defining factor for college admissions. Korean students dedicate their entire academic lives to this test. Now, Korea has developed to an extraordinary degree; it is the 15th strongest economy in the world. Education levels are also reaching a peak, with Korean students ranking number 1 on mathematics and number 3 on science in The Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS). However, after Korea’s industrialization and academic progress, there should no longer be such an immense pressure on students to perform. It is unnecessary to push for better and better education while it is one of the best in the world, especially because it affects Korean students’ mental health.
Additionally, it is unnecessary for immigrant parents to put so much pressure on their children who live in America instead of smaller Asian countries such as South Korea. This academic pressure is unnecessary because there are many more great universities in the US than somewhere like South Korea. For example, in the top 100 ranked universities in the world, the United States boasts 59 universities, while South Korea has 0. Therefore, there are many more opportunities for academic success in the United States. In addition, the highest quality of education is much easier to be accepted into in the United States than in South Korea. For example, the best university in the United States, Harvard University, has a 5.2% acceptance rate, while the best university in South Korea, Seoul National University, has an acceptance rate of 0.5%. As shown, students living in America have a much higher chance of getting a better education, without sacrificing their mental health. The competitiveness in South Korean culture is due to the size of the country and the density of its population. South Korea is the 23rd most populated country in the world with about 51 million people living on 62 thousand miles of land. In comparison to the United States, South Korea is smaller than Florida. Also, the United States is about 99 times larger than South Korea. In comparison to the state of Florida, South Korea has a smaller land mass but has 2.5 times more people living in it. With less land mass and more people, it is clear that the competitiveness of jobs also contributes to Korean parents’ behavior towards their children. However, in the United States, we are much less densely populated, so we have more jobs available. Therefore, Asian parents should not pressure their children so harshly in academics just so that they can get a “better” job because there are many more jobs available. Most importantly, it is unhealthy for parents to put this kind of pressure on their children. Oftentimes, it even leads to serious abuse, and nothing is worth abusing your child.
As a Korean living in Las Vegas, I noticed some similarities between myself and many other Asian students. According to a survey I created and sent out to 39 students living in Las Vegas, about 66.7% of students surveyed “agree” or “strongly agree” that they fear that they will get in trouble for a “bad” grade in school. 56.4% of students feel like their parents compare them to other students/siblings, and 43.6% feel like their parents only support them when they perform well academically. Additionally, 59% of students surveyed feel anxious when thinking about their parents’ reaction to their future, 64.1% of students feel worried to live up to their parents’ expectations, and 59% of students fear that they will get in trouble if they don’t get into a good college. As shown, Asian parents’ expectations of their children are extremely concerning. One student writes, “My Dad pushes me hard to do well academically and I will be in trouble if I don’t get straight A’s… I do feel…that if I wasn’t doing as well in school he wouldn’t support me as much.” Another student writes that they “fear not doing good in college because I don’t want to end up wasting my parent’s hard earned money.” Sadly, one student even
writes “Is this normal?” Las Vegas has a population of about 450 thousand people, with an Asian composition of only 6.1%. Students, myself included, are suffering from years of psychological and physical pressures from our parents, and it has taken a serious toll on our mental health. Many students feel anxiety, worry, and even fear that they are not living up to their parents’ expectations. It is a shame that many children are falling through the cracks in a culture that values benevolence, righteousness, and harmony, all due to their parents’ outdated beliefs, irrational pressures, and despicable greed.
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